Lynette Allen(blog)

What would happen if you altered your view of your current situation? by Jackie Clifford

As I watched the house transform last week from old steamed up windows to new, bright, clean ones, it made me reflect upon how easy it is to get stuck with our old view of the world… Simply having a new pane of glass completely changed my view from every room of the house!

This set me thinking about how a great coach can help you to view problems, challenges and situations from a range of different angles. Here are some questions that might help you to think about things just a little differently…

• If this wasn’t a problem, but an opportunity, what sort of opportunity would it be?

• If you did know how to overcome this challenge, what would you try?

• If you were to view this situation as a fly-on-the-wall, what might you observe?

• If you were to think of this problem in the completely opposite way to the way you are thinking about it now, what would you be thinking?

• Imagine hearing yourself describing this challenge - what do you notice about what you were hearing?

• What needs to change to make you feel happy about this situation?

• How would… [Albert Einstein] [Thomas Edison] [Mother Teresa] [Ellen MacArthur]… tackle this problem?

Another useful way to approach a situation is to analyse the questions that you have about it by asking yourself:

“What are the key questions that I have about this situation / problem / challenge?”

And then go on to think about where you might find the answers or even what the answers might be.

Coming at things from a different angle or viewing them through a different pair of eyes can give you a completely different perspective on things which in turn can help you gain valuable insight and clarity.

Try it and you might be surprised at what you find out.  Click for more information about coaching for women and find your different perspective

Female entrepreneurship set to nearly double over the next 50 years... by Lynette Allen

That's according to Dr Alexandra Beauregard of London School of Economics.  She produced the Avon report which was featured in the Financial Women's Mail Forum last week. 

Apparently of the 2000 16-24 year-olds surveyed, almost two thirds of the females expressed an interest in setting up their own business.  That's truly inspirational and means that those at the very beginning of their careers are starting to see value in their skills, their potential and are starting to understand how they might sculpt a life for themselves based on intelligent independence.

But, if we're honest, we don't see as much of that confidence coming from women in their 30's, 40's or 50's.  Women with families, children, husbands, older parents.  When women find themselves in a position where those around them are so reliant on them, all kinds of complications creep into our dreams and it's easy for our aspirations to fade.  We want to change that.  I want to change that.

Our clients tell us it's a constant juggling act between work and home, that it's easy to feel torn between working and being with family.  We see clients who entirely underestimate their competency in the workplace, never mind their ability to go it alone.  Yet, when our clients start talking to us, when they open up and tell us how they run their lives, what their habits are, what they pack into a normal working day, what they achieve, it's truly astounding! 

Seriously...the level of organisational skills our female entrepreneurs display would leave most world leaders stood still at the starting line.  I've made it my job, as founder of The Womens Coaching Company to inspire women to make those changes, to see their potential, to be able to visualise a future that they're proud of their achievements in business and where they can still be great mothers, loving partners, helpful daughters and supportive friends.

So with more and more younger women taking the step into entrepreneurship, we'd like to hear from you about what it takes to be a female entrepreneur, so we can continue to support our current clients and those just starting out.

What skills does a woman starting her own business need?

What difficulties is she likely to face?

Which key strengths are going to make her successful?

What support does she need?

So many women wonder if they have what it takes to work for themselves.  We believe it's time to inspire many more women to step outside of their comfort zone and trust that, whatever they want to achieve is truly within their grasp.

Let us know what you think and how coaching and mentoring organisations like ours can support female entrepreneurship to an even greater extent.  E-mail lynette@thewomenscoachingcompany.co.uk with your thoughts.  Your opinion, your experience, your expertise, your voice is highly valued.

How you think controls how your business grows by guests bloggers Erica Douglas and Antonia Chitty

Have you been in the situation where you’ve been faced with a difficult task? Whether you’ve been challenged to abseil or to pass an exam, what was your first thought? Did you think, “If I work hard and practice I can do it” or did you think, “I don’t know how to do it now, I’m not a natural at passing exams” or “I can’t abseil and no amount of practice will change that!”

Acknowledging the way your mind works is critical to business success. Read this article to understand more about different mindsets and make changes early on before you fail and give up.

The theorist Carol Dweck believes there are two distinctive mindsets, fixed and growth. If you’re the sort of person who believes that they have an innate ability to do something (or not!) you have a Fixed Mindset. If you believe your ability is based on how hard you work and how much you learn about a skill or topic area you have a Growth Mindset.

Think for a moment about your own mindset in relation to starting and growing your business. Do you believe that you have the skills and knowledge and will succeed? Or do you believe that you have the potential and that you're going to do your best to take the resources study them, learn, grow and eventually succeed? The former is an example of a Fixed Mindset the latter a Growth Mindset.

It may surprise you to find out that the person with a fixed mindset is most likely to fail in the end. Although they may go in to an enterprise feeling well equipped, according to Dweck they do not deal with failure well.  They believe that they have the innate ability and should be able to succeed regardless. This means that when they come across a barrier or business disaster, this failure calls into question their ability to succeed at all.  The doubt that creeps in from failing can result in the person giving up completely, as their whole view of themselves has been called into question.

A person with a Growth Mindset knows that by failing it gives them an opportunity to learn and therefore to eventually succeed.  Each failure is seen as an opportunity and does not call into question their beliefs. After all, they always knew it would be hard work and that failure along the way was inevitable.

Every entrepreneur’s journey requires a Growth Mindset: from here on in will you see failure as an opportunity?  If you have failed then you have taken action, and taking action already puts you ahead of the crowd. So well done to you!

Most people don't succeed in business, either because of their mindset OR because they don't stick at it long enough to fail enough. I'm proud to say that I've stuck at it long enough and I failed a lot.  But it was worth it!

Want to learn more about changing the way you think about business?  We have 2 excellent ways for you to do so!  1) Join 'Mumpreneur in a Month' with Erica and Antonia and 2) book an individual coaching session with TWCC Mum's Coach Helen Hind

What are you waiting for?

Think like a man, by TWCC Mentor Cathe Gaskell

My new year’s resolution 2011 is to think and act more like man. Now hold on a minute, I don’t mean surf all the channels, missing all the best shows whilst hogging the remote, drop my wet towels religiously on the bathroom floor and laugh when I leave the toilet seat up, instead what I aim to do is think like and act like a man when in the workplace.

Many women suffer from the syndrome of worker bee, running about thinking and bee-lieving the following mantra 'If I work hard, I will be noticed and appropriately rewarded' now when did that actually last happen to you? It doesn’t. In real life, the guy who got the promotion was less talented, more pushy and less of a team player than the perfect female candidate who didn’t apply for the job, because she didn’t have the complete set of qualifications or the right amount of experience. She worked longer and harder than everyone else though but humility won’t always get you noticed.

In a nutshell, 'ask for more and expect more' is not a bad mantra at work, this doesn’t preclude being a great team player and also sharing your expertise with others, but it does include asking your workplace to support your needs for a mentor or coach.

How many women feel they could benefit from a mentor? Someone to help them with both with  skills and confidence which will improve workplace performance, but don’t ask for it to be funded...why not?

A common fear is in the asking, coupled with negative and self limiting thoughts of, 'How will I explain it? Budgets are tight at the moment and I just know I won’t be funded for it' What sort of argument is that?

It’s like watching someone shaking their head from side to side saying 'You won’t pick me will you?', your damn right we won’t! Why not articulate why you need a mentor and what benefits the organisation will get from this arrangement.

Now start acting like a man and get your mentor to work for you. Who do they know that you need to know? What groups do they belong to where you need to have a presence? How can you ride in their slip stream for a while and benefit from their connections?

A mentor is not a counsellor, they are there to help propel you forward career wise and to open doors and pass on advice that will ease your path....so ladies start believing you deserve more and start asking for it....you might just get it!

If you'd like to talk to Cathe about either finding a mentor who suits your requirements or about engaging Cathe and her expertise, click here for more information on her packages

Boardroom tactics for women in charge, by Lynette Allen

When I met Katy just before Christmas in the foyer of a rather lovely hotel near London she had a problem. She explained that she thought she was rather nicely being set up by a colleague to undertake a project at work...a project of epic proportions, that as far as she could see, was entirely unachievable in the time frame available. What's more, if the company failed to deliver this project to a high standard, the ramifications would stretch far and wide.

It seems that no-one in authority actually wanted to volunteer to take this project on and in various e-mail communication, the inference would be that Katy had already agreed...she hadn't!

The situation was this. Colleagues were already assuming that Katy was the project leader and were therefore directing their questions to her by telephone and e-mail, questions she had no answers for. A meeting was due the following week concerning the project and the way forward. Katy was unsure what her seniors thought and she was unsure who was involved in manipulating the situation thus far. The one thing she was sure about, was that she didn't want the project and she told me she needed a strategy to understand the relationship of those in charge, to both the project, and to each other. She also wanted a deflection strategy to ensure she wasn't put directly in the firing line and left in a weak strategic position.

What Katy has never felt comfortable with however, like many women, is saying 'No'. To actually say no to this project was something she was convinced she wouldn't be able to do. Katy's goal for the session was to find appropriate strategies that put her in a position of strength and to not agree to undertake any part of the project - all without her actually having to say the word 'No'!

Several café lattes later, she had not only formulated a strong, clear vision of what she needed to do at the meeting, but she had back up plans for just about every outcome we could envisage! Katy left our meeting with purpose, a real sense of conviction and the poise that only a woman who's really in control will appreciate!

I met her again last night. Same location. More café lattes. Perfect outcome.

The meeting went so well that she didn't need her back up plans, just her main strategy. She avoided being set up and not only she avoid saying 'No', she barely spoke at all!

The plan worked so well that I asked if it would be ok to share her strategy with you, she agreed wholeheartedly and so here it is;

Say less than usual

Instead of talking at the table and taking charge, which is her usual behaviour and probably why she'd been headlined to take the lead of the project in the first place, Katy sat further back in her seat and at one point, she noticed that 20 minutes had gone by without her saying a word! Instead, she watched the body language of those around the table. She listened for what their plans were and for what they seemed to be expecting. She noticed lots of shifty eye contact and noticed that two people had been involved in trying to set her up, not just the one! Katy said she wouldn't have noticed that subtle team work if she'd been busy talking and trying to express her own opinions and concerns.

Don't let others see you have a plan

When we first started our coaching session before Christmas, Katy's first mind set was 'If they're going to set me up with an impossible project, I'll time line it and manage it to within an inch of its life to make sure it's the biggest success they've ever seen!'. Again, this was probably the reason she'd been chosen to head this project in the first place. However, when she spoke about what that would involve in more detail, she realised that by coming to the meeting with plans and time lines, that would be tantamount to agreeing to head the project! Quite the reverse of her goal. Katy devised a plan (obviously!) but didn't let the board know. That way, she wasn't putting herself forward but she did feel more prepared if there seemed no way out.

Don't always give the solutions

Katy is a problem solver. She's good at problems and has a talent for making things happen. On this occasion, this strength was going to land her with problems. Instead of jumping in with solutions, she watched and gave others the opportunity to solve their own departmental issues. While it was obvious from the table that they were waiting for her to lean forward and sort everything out, she didn't, she hung back, in silence. The outcome left Katy wondering why she hadn't used these techniques before. She was amazed to see the positive impact they had all on kinds of issues and over the last six weeks, she has continued to use these techniques effectively on at least a dozen different scenarios, with HoD's, junior staff, board members and her team.

What would work for you? If you've got a situation that's uncomfortable, steeped in office politics, where your confidence has taken a hit or those around you are playing games, consider a coaching session to give you a strategy to deal with it differently. Only you will know what to do, give yourself the chance to discover your best strategy yet!  

Click here for more information on the types of issues you might be facing today

Which side do you wear your watch? by TWCC coach Jackie Clifford

Recently I’ve been working with a number of groups who are involved in managing change. One of the exercises that I ask people to do, is to move their watch from the wrist on which they usually wear it to their other wrist. It’s amazing how difficult this can be – try it and you’ll see what I mean Some people can’t bear to even place their watch on the different wrist, whilst others give it a try and then a few minutes later sneak it back.

This got me thinking about change and doing things differently.

At this time of year, many people’s thoughts turn to resolutions, doing something new or doing something differently. For many women it’s also the time of year when we take a deep breath and say 'thank goodness that’s over for another year'. This can create something of a dilemma for us – we want to stop, take stock and have a bit of a break, but we also want to get out there and make some positive changes. How can we deal with this dilemma?

One of the ways is to make a plan that includes some breathing space and also includes small steps towards the changes we want to make. One does not have to cancel out the other. Once we’ve created a step-by-step plan how do we maintain the momentum?

For many of us our plans are accompanied by enthusiasm and motivation in the early days – like moving the watch to the other wrist, it can feel OK to do it for a few minutes, but then it’s nice and comfortable to ‘go back to normal’ – it’s all too easy to slip back into old habits and ways of doing things. We also have to deal with those around us who, with the best will in the world, maybe trying to support us, but may unconsciously want us to stay the same ('I like you just the way you are').

Here’s where a coach can be invaluable. A coach has no vested interest in whether you change or don’t change. A coach is independent of you, your family and your friends. A coach will listen to your plans, use questions to help you refine your plans and challenge you if you say one thing and then completely contradict yourself!

A coach will be there to help you review your progress and, if you want to change direction, they'll help you analyse why and challenge you to consider whether this is what you really want or have you simply got a dose of the ‘colly-wobbles’. A coach will remind you that you've made a contract with yourself and help you test whether you want to stick to the contract and, if you do, decide what needs to happen so that you can. On the other hand, they can also help you to make a new plan if you decide that’s the right thing to do.

You don’t have to be a Chief Executive or high-powered business person to benefit from coaching. Coaching is about helping you to achieve whatever you want to achieve and keeping you on the path that you’ve chosen. So, the next time you’re wavering and thinking about ‘putting the watch back on the other wrist’, consider why this is and think about giving The Women's Coaching Company a call to find out how coaching might benefit you.

Click here to read about our coaching programmes and see which one catches your eye! You can call us for more information on 0845 474 2241

Have you thought of going into business? by TWCCs Antonia Chitty

Have you thought of going into business? If so, you are one of a rising number of mothers who are becoming business owners and entrepreneurs. According to a survey by Phoenix Trading, more than three in four mums who don’t currently have a business would like to start one. But being a mother and a business owner brings its own challenges.

I start my business when, like many women, I found that my old job just didn’t fit after maternity leave. I went back to work for nine months before having my ‘light bulb moment’. A session with a life coach helped me realise that self employment was the perfect way to get back control over my working life. I could set my own hours, choose work that interested me and, most importantly, spend time with my daughter.

From the start, though, it became clear that the best plans don’t always work out. I planned to write freelance features and successfully pitched some features to trade magazines. My ideas of writing parenting features soon came to an end, though, once I discovered that almost every other mum with literary leaning thought that writing for parenting magazines might be a nice way to earn a living. At the same time, though, I linked up with someone on a parenting forum who needed help with PR. I’d worked in promotion for a number of years and wrote this lady a press release in return for some of her products.

Once I’d written one press release it became clear that there was a real need for a friendly and approachable PR agency offering help to women who wouldn’t approach a big London agency. I traded some PR with a web designer who then set up my website for me, and spent the next few years focussing on PR.

For me, my first business idea didn’t quite work out the way I’d expected. However I was determined to contribute to the family income and work in a flexible way so I persisted. If you have a business idea, make sure you do your research in the early days to see if there is a niche for your business or if, like me, you are aiming for a market that is overcrowded already. And if you have a business that has been running for a few weeks or months, or even a couple of years, but has yet to make you much money, remember that many businesses take three years to turn a profit and stick with it. Alongside persistence you also need to keep asking questions, attending courses, joining teleclasses and querying your business model. In this way you will be able to develop and grow your business until it becomes successful and meets your goals.

 

Antonia Chitty is an award winning entrepreneur and author. She offers help and mentoring for mums with businesses through www.themumpreneurguide.co.uk

Is that really me? By 'My Girl in the City'

Having just returned to the office following a summer off I was surprised by how difficult I found the transition from ‘home me’ to ‘office me’. 

During my time off I had relaxed, spent time with friends (and if I’m honest eaten a lot of cake and drunk a lot of tea) and generally enjoyed life.  Imagine my surprise then when I returned to the office and everyone around me seemed to want a hard-nosed, thick-skinned, super woman that I didn’t recognise. Had I really been like that?  Was that really me?

The honest answer has to be yes, in work it is, or rather it has to be. I work in a fast-paced, stressful, environment. My close friends and family simply wouldn’t recognise the person I become when I walk through the office doors at the start of a working day. Is this a bad thing? No it’s a self-preservation thing and something I have learnt to do over the years.

Obviously my values don’t change, that would be impossible, but I do acquire a coat of imaginary armour as I walk through the office door. The ‘work me’ needs to be a tougher, more resilient being (or trust me this lot would gobble me up). The ‘home me’ relishes being light humoured, giggly and fun loving, some may even say cheeky.

I’m not really juggling two personalities, just ensuring that right personality traits are used to best effect and at the right time.

I’ve been back in the office for 4 weeks now and the hard-nosed, thick-skinned, super woman is firmly back and sitting behind my desk but my light hearted and relaxed alter ego is waiting outside the office door for me when I leave ………….yippee!

Does this sound like you?  Do you have to create a work persona and a home persona?  If you're struggling with this and can identify with My Girl in the City's experience, then talk to us about how a one-off coaching session could help - that's exaclty what we're here for and exactly how we help you maintain that Superwoman Work You and keep it!  Call 0845 474 2241 to chat through your situation to one of our coaches or mentors.

Fake it to Make it, by TWCC's mentor Cathe Gaskell

With the cold chill of winter winds settling us into October, I could be talking about fake tanning here, but actually the term “fake it till you make it” is a good one to remember for anyone aspiring to career progression in the workplace.

So many women deny themselves a chance of promotion, of even filling in the application form for that perfect job because they don’t have all the skills listed. The big secret is no-one ever does, candidate specs are a wish list, an abstract depicting a highly skilled multi talented unicorn, and if that creature existed they’d be running the company not working for it!

Applying for a job you aspire to have, is not unrealistic, it shows guts and ambition and that you have big hopes and dreams. An interesting programme recently compared the behaviours of successful male entrepreneurs to the behaviours of the average male in the street - entrepreneurs had one key difference in all the patterns of behaviour, they were no more agile, mentally able nor obviously  talented but they tried longer and harder at any activity shown, and, just every once in a while, one of their ideas would work – in real life, you wouldn't know about the 100 earlier failures!

Women have a tendency to want to have “all their ducks in a row” before applying for a promotion or development, this behaviour could be self limiting and an excuse for not trying for the next level. You don’t need a degree or the right course to move ahead, that’s your comfort zone talking, you need tenacity and the ability to fake what you’re doing, until you become confident and can carry off the learning that everyone does when starting a new job.

So don’t believe you’re not good enough as you are, start believing, “I can do it” and “I will do it” and start moving forward with confidence ...faking it maybe initially, but it’s the first step to making it a reality! 

Would you like to understand how to "fake it to make it" in your industry?  Then talk to our mentor Cathe Gaskell, she's your secret weapon to success!  E-mail mentorme@thewomenscoachingcompany.co.uk 

Girls...spice up your business life and your workout!

Are you fit for business?  Breezing through a workout or fitness class that used to be incredibly difficult gives us such a sense of achievement. The certain knowledge that you've improved and got fitter is a well deserved reward for all the hard work. Then you start to notice that your progress has slowed down, and the gains that you initially made in muscle size, fitness or body shape are no longer taking place. Maybe your weight loss has ground to a halt. It’s easy to get downhearted at this point, and maybe even decide that working out is just not working out for you.

STOP!

Don’t give up now, just as all the hard work when you started training is finally starting to pay off.

Remember that exercise is essentially stress that we load onto the body, forcing it to adapt and become stronger. Our cardio-vascular system becomes more efficient, our muscles become stronger and our overall fitness increases. Our body adapts to these stresses that we put on it, which means that over time as we get fitter and stronger, our workouts become easier and our muscles do not have to adapt in the same way. We end up repeating exercises which once were very difficult and are now easily within your capabilities, no longer "stressing" our bodies. At this stage unless we begin to challenge our bodies once again, results will start to plateau, both in terms of strength gains and weight loss.

It’s also at this stage that the initial novelty and excitement surrounding your fitness programme starts to wear off. It all becomes just that bit more monotonous, and the enthusiasm starts to wane. This is when so many people abandon their training – just as it is starting to pay dividends! One of the main reasons I see people drop out of gyms and training programs is that they get bored - they start to find excuses not to train. Ensuring that your workouts stay fresh and interesting will help you to maintain your enthusiasm.

Now is the time to set new goals and targets, to change your workout to be challenging again. A drastic change is not always needed – maybe sprints rather than steady runs, a different class at the gym, different sets of weight exercises. Your personal trainer or gym instructor should be able to write you an updated programme whenever you need. If your body is challenged in this way, then the results will start again, and you will see increased fitness levels and weight loss (or gain if that is the target).

In our lives and our businesses we set ourselves goals, and once we reach them we then set new, improved targets to reach. Getting and staying fit requires that same goal setting to encourage our bodies to achieve the results we are looking for.

If you'd like to some help setting fitness goals, contact Lisa Kent by clicking here, if it's your business life which needs a change of direction, contact us direct on 0845 474 2241.